Product Placement Done Right

       Agent Clint Barton was S.H.I.E.L.D.'s finest agent. He had undergone training that most men could not survive, found himself in situations that would drive a lesser man to the brink of insanity, seen things that would make other men faint, his blue-green eyes staring unflinchingly at them, and he had been taught to survive off of next to nothing. There was one thing Agent Barton could not live without, however. And Tony Stark made the biggest mistake of his life when he snatched it from Clint.
       
       "Tony, drop it."
       "No!"
       "Tony, drop it!" Clint's entire body was tense, his muscles straining underneath the tight leather he was clothed in.
       "You can't make me!"
       "Wanna bet?!" Clint lunged towards Tony's ankles, murder in his eyes. He would have destroyed Tony's ankles, and then proceeded to reduce the billionaire playboy to a bloody pulp, had Steve not intervened by tackling him to the ground.
       "Stop it!" Steve yelled, struggling to keep Clint pinned below him. "Tony, give the man whatever he wants!"
       "It's a Dr. freaking Pepper!" Tony yelled, dancing away from the two men on the floor. "It's not like he needs it like I need the reactor!" He absentmindedly placed his hand on the bright circle in the center of his chest, his brown eyes following Clint and Steve's every move.
       "Bastard!" Clint snarled, twisting violently under Steve. "Get the fuck off me, you spandex-ed asshole!" A sudden burst of strength tore through Clint's body, and he was able to fling Steve off of him.
       "Tony, give him the Dr. Pepper!"
       "NO!"
       "What the hell is your problem?!" Steve yelled at Tony circling uncertainly behind Clint, ready to take his knees out if he lunged for Tony.
       Tony backed away from Clint, edging closer to the sleeping bundle of blankets in one of the darker corners of the living room. "It's a damn Dr. Pepper, why don't you ask him what his problem is?!" Tony jabbed a finger at Clint, pulling it back just before Clint's own fingers could close around it, breaking the bone in places Tony didn't know it would break.
       Clint lunged forward again, pushing Tony even closer towards the sleeping pile of linen. "Give it here you bastard!"
       "Make me!" Tony instantly regretted his words, the murderous glint in Clint's eyes was saying more than the archer ever would. He honestly had no idea why he had snatched the drink away from Clint, but now that he had he knew that he had to go down with his ship. Even if that meant pouring the soda on whoever was sleeping in the bundle on the floor.
       Clint took a menacing step forward, and Tony cowered back, sarcastically wailing about how terrified he was, showing his shaky hands as proof of extreme fear. And then he turned, pouring the bottle out on the sleeping form, jumping back and hoping that whoever it was wouldn't immediately turn into a giant green rage monster.
       "Bastard!"
       "What the hell?!"
       Clint and Bruce's voices mingled together, their anger and shock almost indistinguishable. Tony had fled, his slender form seeking refuge behind Steve's more muscular one. Clint turned his head from Tony to Bruce, like a snake-or in his case, a hawk- trying to decide which victim to swoop down upon.
       Steve and Tony tensed as one, both expecting Clint's wrath to descend upon them. For a brief second, Clint's focus was on them, and Steve took a wary step back, crouching down defensively in front of Tony.
        "Get off me!" Bruce was struggling underneath Clint, who immediately grabbed Bruce's wrists, effectively pinning him down. "Guys," he turned to the others in the room, his soft brown eyes pleading for help. "get him off me."
       Neither Steve or Tony moved, watching Clint with a strange curiosity. He was looking at Bruce's neck and chest, where the Dr. Pepper was still visible. He frowned, and Tony allowed a victorious smile to spread across his face. "I win. You can't drink it."
       Clint looked up at him, his eyes flashing, before he returned Tony's smile. "You're right, I can't." He bent down, his eyes remaining locked with Tony's. "I can do this, though." Bruce looked at him, trying to back away but not quite able. Steve was amazed that he hadn't Hulk'd out yet. He knew he'd be pissed if someone woke him up by spilling a drink on him, and someone else pinned him down.
       Bruce jerked away from Clint, but Clint didn't so much as flinch, moving his face towards Bruce's neck. "Clint, what the he-" Bruce froze as Clint licked the Dr. Pepper off his throat. Tony's jaw dropped as every inch of Steve's skin reddened, but Clint took no notice, focusing instead on Bruce's neck and chest.
       "What the hell?" Tony turned to Steve, trying to ignore the fact that Clint had moved up, and was dangerously close to kissing Bruce.
       "I-I…I um…" Steve shrugged helplessly. "Fuck it."
       The door opened and slammed shut, startling the man of iron and the living legend, and they turned with mixed feelings of relief and confusion to see Thor dragging a bound and gagged Loki inside.
       "Ah, I see Barton and Banner are partaking in a ritual you and I partook of several times," Thor turned to speak to Loki. Tony raised an eyebrow, not quite sure if he understood what Thor was saying. "Although we would end in several different positions." Loki was burning a bright crimson, and Tony laughed as he realized he understood.
       Steve's flush deepened, and he turned back to Clint and Bruce. Clint was now standing, offering a hand down to help Bruce up. "I'm free tonight if you want to go out for dinner," Bruce was smiling somewhat sheepishly.
       "Or we can completely bypass dinner, and just fuck each other." Clint smiled too, no hint of shame on his features.
       Tony turned to Steve, staring wordlessly. Steve fidgeted uncomfortably, Tony's eyes boring holes into the side of his skull until he couldn't take it anymore "What?!"
       "Why can't you be a whore like him?